Category Archives: Understanding Therapy

Untreated Psychiatric Disorders Can Affect Couples Counseling

Posted on by Erika Boissiere
29 Oct

We all come to couples counseling for a variety of reasons. As a couples therapist, I often hear similar complaints from clients, “he just doesn’t listen to me,” or, “we fight all the time.” Also on the list, “we’ve stopped having sex,” or “can you just change her?” While couples counseling can be the perfect venue to give you tools and tips on how to communicate better, resolve conflict differently, liven up your sex life, and make important relational changes, there are a few things that will stop the process right in its tracks.

Untreated psychiatric disorders will make couples counseling incredibly difficult. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, ADHD or any other psychiatric disorder, it is imperative that you get individualized treatment, first. Treatment typically includes a thorough assessment by a specialized professional, either a psychiatrist or a therapist in that particular field of study. If you don’t get individualized treatment first, your couples therapist will give you tools and tips that either you’re unable to utilize (yet). Your therapy sessions will be met with either failed attempts or frustration. All things that you want to avoid as you venture down the vulnerable journey of couples therapy.

While it is the hopes of many clients to change their relationship, such as wanting better sex, more aliveness, stronger communication, less fighting, and so on – the very first step is to take a look at yourself. If you are struggling independently, your treatment comes first , before couples therapy.

One example to illustrate this point is the classic case of someone struggling with undiagnosed adult ADHD. One partner complains that the other is late, lacks of organization, has the inability to prioritize and is unaccountable. It is easy for the other to potentially pin this on characterological factors, saying things like, “he’s just like this,” or “he’s selfish and doesn’t think of me.” However, what if your partner has undiagnosed ADHD? Your partner could be struggling with something outside of their control.

Another excellent example to display the importance is that of undiagnosed depression. A partner may complain that their spouse “never gets out of bed,” is “irritable,” often is “tired and lacks motivation.” Again, these are all signs that could point to a diagnosis of depression – but what if your spouse is convinced that it is because “you just don’t care,” or “you’re lazy.” Your spouse will end up persecuting you on behaviors that may have be out of your control.

Clients struggling with reoccurring symptoms that seem out of the ordinary may need individualized treatment. Through a thorough assessment, skills and coaching, the client has the ability to make individual changes that will impact their relationship. Once the psychiatric disorder is stabilized, couples counseling can be extremely beneficial. Skills such as communication, conflict stabilization, sex, and intimacy issues can be addressed – the very ingredients that help couples and relationships have stronger and more intimate connections.

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For more articles and information from Erika Boissiere, MFT – Founder of the Relationship Institute of San Francisco, please visit www.trisf.com or  call 415-519-6446.

Chicago Presentations June 2013

Posted on by Phil Boissiere
14 May

I will be doing two presentations this June in Chicago, please see the information below. Hope to see you there!

Phil Boissiere, MFT will be presenting at both The Family Institute at Northwestern University and the American Family Therapy Academy-Annual Conference on June 7th in downtown Chicago.

The Family Insitute at Northwestern University June 7th at 4pm:

Group therapy is one of the most valuable and effective treatment modalities for youth. Often agencies and programs will utilize either mental health graduate trainees or registered interns to provide these groups. The upside to this practice is cost savings for the agency and the benefit of collecting hours and gaining experience for the clinician. Unfortunately, most new clinicians and students have had little or no training in working with youth populations in a group setting. Further compounding this issue is that fact that groups are often comprised of youth with behavioral issues or other difficult psychopathology, which can make management of the group very intimidating and difficult. 

In this training Phil Boissiere, MFT uses his experience running groups with youth to teach new clinicians how to operate successful groups and build the needed confidence to be a successful group facilitator. Come ready to gain skills, ask questions, and participate in experiential learning.

Attendees of this training you will learn why it is important to do group therapy with youth, understand how to manage your own expectations around groups, capitalize on your strengths, and hold the frame of the group.  In the training we will also discuss who should be in the group, what type of group to have, what activities to have during the group, a basic structure, how to manage behavior in the group, and how to address barriers of working with difficult youth in groups.

American Family Therapy Academy-Annual Conference June 7th at 12:15pm:

Phil Boissiere, MFT will discuss what family therapists need to know in order to work with families during the elementary school years to aid in the prevention of drug and alcohol abuse during adolescence. His early intervention approach will help clinicians understand why the lure of drugs are so strong, how to understand the risk factors of children and families in their practice, and gain a reality based proactive model of prevention. He will also be discussing how cultural factors and social inequities increase the risk in many populations. His model of prevention has gained international attention and has been well received by many audiences.

For more information on either of these presentations, please contact Phil Boissiere, MFT directly here.

Positive Psychology for Success

Posted on by Phil Boissiere
13 Dec

All to often people shy away from seeking therapy due to misconceptions about what therapy is. This is in large part due to psychodynamic (Freudian etc.) approaches that do a fair amount of “digging” around in peoples childhood experiences. Unfortunately, this leads to people not receiving the support they need, which in turn increases or leads to dysfunction and dissatisfaction with life. Fortunately, modern approaches to psychotherapy and counseling, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, focus on helping people reach their goals and capitalize on their strengths.

In recent years the field of Positive Psychology has come to fruition and has been shown to have a profound effect on furthering an individuals occupational, social, academic, creative, and intellectual goals. Positive psychology is a rich empirical basis for health, work, quality of life, and leadership coaching. 

So, what is Positive Psychology exactly? Very simply put, it is the exploration of processes and circumstances that lead to optimal performance, life satisfaction, and health.

Unlike psychological theories from the past, which tend to focus on “what is wrong”, Positive Psychology focuses on human strengths and healthy positive experiences to improve the lives of people.

I utilize the principals and applications of Positive Psychology to help business professionals, artists, authors, and tech leaders advance their careers, personal growth, and success. I have had great success combining Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Positive Psychology with coaching in San Francisco, Palo Alto, Menlo Park, and the greater Silicon Valley. A common statement from my clients is “I didn’t know therapy could be this way!” or “This is so empowering.”